Last week, I had lunch with a local TV News reporter who has a lot of media contacts in town. She brought her 2 year old daughter along with the intention of getting some photos with Santa at the mall.
It was a productive lunch because she was able to point me in a few different directions in my quest for work. But her daughter kept staring at me. At first I figured she wondered who this strange person was seated next to her. But the stares continued for the duration of the lunch. Occasionally the child would awkwardly offer me a French fry or a mini hot dog. I would graciously accept the partially eaten morsel of food which would generate a squeal and kicking of her little legs. I had to admit, well, she had me after the second happy yelp.
The lunch continued this way for the next 45 minutes. The large wide eye stare, the nervous offerings and the squeals of delight, sprinkle in between a few job leads and career suggestions. It was one of the oddest lunches I have ever attended. But the oddest part came later that day when the mother called. She apologized for her youngster and said I made the her daughter’s day. At the daycare center that afternoon, she bragged to her classmates that she knew Santa and had lunch with him that afternoon. The fact she had her picture taken with Santa was never mentioned! Damn, I really do need to trim my beard.
Yesterday morning I woke up to -9 degrees with a wind chill making it feel like -25. It was time to get some thermal underwear. So I put on my heaviest t-shirts, several pairs of pants and started toward the nearest Target. On the way I discovered another incentive to get warmer clothing, my Explorer wasn’t pumping out any heat! Yep, my thermostat is out according to my brother-in-law. Considering the Minnesota weather, I have no idea when it went out. So as I drive around this week I will be behind the wheel wearing both pairs of the thermal underwear I purchased and my brand new hooded down coat. I will have so much clothing on that if I get broadsided by another vehicle, I won’t even know it! Hell I don’t even have to put my gloved hands on the steering wheel, just lean in the direction I want to turn.
I took a chance and walked on the iced over lake yesterday, dressed in my new winter wear. I fought back the panic and strutted out there like I knew what I was doing. I looked fearless then, I heard the cracking sound of ice. Suddenly my crotch got warmer and I was on talking terms with God.
I must have looked like a cartoon character as my legs blurred into circles in my efforts to get to the nearest ground. I moved, but not where I wanted to go. I landed face first on the ice and heard the ice crack again! This was it! I was going to die in at oversized frozen margarita. IF WASN’T FAIR!
Then several amused ice skaters glided over and pushed my curled up form off the frozen lake. There I tried to regain some pride and mumbled something about a twisted ankle. They all giggled in agreement and skated away without a hint of fear. Behind them a snowmobile shot across the ice as if to dare me to try again.
I have determined to try again. Next week, after there has been another week of sub-zero temperatures. Maybe………………..
(Side Note: I was told that the sound of cracking ice is normal. That can be heard all season long and some people find it relaxing. SOME people………….)
I have included a photo for the frozen tundra for your pleasure. It should end up on flickr.com when I get a chance to touch it up.
Have a Merry Christmas everyone.
It was a productive lunch because she was able to point me in a few different directions in my quest for work. But her daughter kept staring at me. At first I figured she wondered who this strange person was seated next to her. But the stares continued for the duration of the lunch. Occasionally the child would awkwardly offer me a French fry or a mini hot dog. I would graciously accept the partially eaten morsel of food which would generate a squeal and kicking of her little legs. I had to admit, well, she had me after the second happy yelp.
The lunch continued this way for the next 45 minutes. The large wide eye stare, the nervous offerings and the squeals of delight, sprinkle in between a few job leads and career suggestions. It was one of the oddest lunches I have ever attended. But the oddest part came later that day when the mother called. She apologized for her youngster and said I made the her daughter’s day. At the daycare center that afternoon, she bragged to her classmates that she knew Santa and had lunch with him that afternoon. The fact she had her picture taken with Santa was never mentioned! Damn, I really do need to trim my beard.
Yesterday morning I woke up to -9 degrees with a wind chill making it feel like -25. It was time to get some thermal underwear. So I put on my heaviest t-shirts, several pairs of pants and started toward the nearest Target. On the way I discovered another incentive to get warmer clothing, my Explorer wasn’t pumping out any heat! Yep, my thermostat is out according to my brother-in-law. Considering the Minnesota weather, I have no idea when it went out. So as I drive around this week I will be behind the wheel wearing both pairs of the thermal underwear I purchased and my brand new hooded down coat. I will have so much clothing on that if I get broadsided by another vehicle, I won’t even know it! Hell I don’t even have to put my gloved hands on the steering wheel, just lean in the direction I want to turn.
I took a chance and walked on the iced over lake yesterday, dressed in my new winter wear. I fought back the panic and strutted out there like I knew what I was doing. I looked fearless then, I heard the cracking sound of ice. Suddenly my crotch got warmer and I was on talking terms with God.
I must have looked like a cartoon character as my legs blurred into circles in my efforts to get to the nearest ground. I moved, but not where I wanted to go. I landed face first on the ice and heard the ice crack again! This was it! I was going to die in at oversized frozen margarita. IF WASN’T FAIR!
Then several amused ice skaters glided over and pushed my curled up form off the frozen lake. There I tried to regain some pride and mumbled something about a twisted ankle. They all giggled in agreement and skated away without a hint of fear. Behind them a snowmobile shot across the ice as if to dare me to try again.
I have determined to try again. Next week, after there has been another week of sub-zero temperatures. Maybe………………..
(Side Note: I was told that the sound of cracking ice is normal. That can be heard all season long and some people find it relaxing. SOME people………….)
I have included a photo for the frozen tundra for your pleasure. It should end up on flickr.com when I get a chance to touch it up.
Have a Merry Christmas everyone.
That is delightful warm-hearted story. You paint quite a picture with your words. I wonder, however, if you crack through the ice with all that padding and covered in down… would you float like a goose? :-)
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