Thumbs Up!

I learned a simple biology lesson this week. How critical a thumb is. Yes, a THUMB!

My thumb was crushed earlier this week when a car door wedged it between a car frame and door. I was my own fault. I was between live shots and I was trying to help a news crew from Bismarck, ND restart their rental car. After the third attempt, the reporter, highly agitated, jumped out of the drivers seat, shut the car door and started swearing. With my poor thumb suddenly trapped, I joined her. But I believe I was louder.!

The damage was done. At first, it really didn’t hurt. That evening I slipped into bed with a small throbbing and awoke with a thumb the size of, well; circumcision wasn’t out of the question.

I was in extreme pain. Thank God, I was once a lefty, or I would have still been sitting on that toilet seat, trying to turn on the shower.

Buckling up my jeans then zipping them up became a labor of pain. I actually had to reach across my car’s steering column with my left hand to start the car. You don’t want to know how I buckled my seatbelt. It was becoming a chore to reach for my cup of morning coffee. To hold anything was a punishment. I started to realize that the thumb and forefinger was the most important digits on the hand.

Then the trip to the Dr’s that evening! 5 Minutes, a few x-rays and $1000 later I found out I was fine. I have no insurance so it is a cash option. I can see why Americans are against Public Health care. Who wants to spend that much money to discover you are fine! Good decision, USA.

I persevered through the morning shows, then painfully waited for the remaining assignments. I was luckily released and instructed to head home. The Aleve and coffee helped me to get home. The Bushmill Irish Whisky and beer helped me once I was home.

My thumb has now diminished to twice the size of my other thumb, I think by the time I am scheduled to work on Monday, I will be fine. I can already gives a thumbs-up then flip some off with no pain. I will loose the fingernail; I just do not know when it will happen. I just have to go with the flow.

The lesson I learned, do not lean on a car with an excitable reporter behind the wheel. And Do Not go to an Emergency Room with no insurance. They double the price!!!!!!!

Job Hunting

Last week, after some contemplation, I decided to put my resume online at monster.com. I have always been cautious about displaying information to countless eyes on the internet. But I rationalized that like “wanted posters” at the post office, lots of people can see them, but very few look.

The next morning, I opened up my email and was delighted to find a large number of job inquiries. Freelancing was to become a memory. A 9 to 5 job, sigh, was just around the corner.

 

I grabbed a cup of coffee, made myself comfortable and started pouring over the emails. I quickly found out that I will have to strengthen my spam filter. The first two emails I opened were impressed with my experience and was a perfect fit to become an “online financial advisor”.

The next group of emails were not that impressed and offered to help edit my resume to maximize efforts to get a job. They must have reconsidered because I also received emails, from the same companies, telling me my about several openings they had as a “contract resume advisor”.  So I could pay them to pay me to write my resume?

After reviewing all the emails spawned by my online resume, I began to realize that I really didn’t need to put up my complete resume; my email address alone qualified me for a large number of diverse jobs. The list was limitless and included an insurance actuary, a fine chef, a loan manager, a senior caretaker and (my favorite) a dance instructor on a cruise ship.

After spending an unproductive hour reading emails, taking my resume offline and reworking my spam filter, I actually found a company that decided to take a chance and hired me.

The Board of Recruitment Service Nigerian Liquefied Natural Gas (NLNG) expressed their congratulations that my application had been accepted, I had passed the screening process and they included an employment contract for me to sign. However, I will need to apply and pay for the necessary work permits with the Nigerian Immigration Service. They even provided a name and phone number of a person in their HR department who can streamline the process.

I can hardly wait to start my new career with them. I know I will quickly climbing the corporate ladder at this company. Because I will be the only person who knows how to use a SPELL CHECKER!