Job Hunting

Last week, after some contemplation, I decided to put my resume online at monster.com. I have always been cautious about displaying information to countless eyes on the internet. But I rationalized that like “wanted posters” at the post office, lots of people can see them, but very few look.

The next morning, I opened up my email and was delighted to find a large number of job inquiries. Freelancing was to become a memory. A 9 to 5 job, sigh, was just around the corner.

 

I grabbed a cup of coffee, made myself comfortable and started pouring over the emails. I quickly found out that I will have to strengthen my spam filter. The first two emails I opened were impressed with my experience and was a perfect fit to become an “online financial advisor”.

The next group of emails were not that impressed and offered to help edit my resume to maximize efforts to get a job. They must have reconsidered because I also received emails, from the same companies, telling me my about several openings they had as a “contract resume advisor”.  So I could pay them to pay me to write my resume?

After reviewing all the emails spawned by my online resume, I began to realize that I really didn’t need to put up my complete resume; my email address alone qualified me for a large number of diverse jobs. The list was limitless and included an insurance actuary, a fine chef, a loan manager, a senior caretaker and (my favorite) a dance instructor on a cruise ship.

After spending an unproductive hour reading emails, taking my resume offline and reworking my spam filter, I actually found a company that decided to take a chance and hired me.

The Board of Recruitment Service Nigerian Liquefied Natural Gas (NLNG) expressed their congratulations that my application had been accepted, I had passed the screening process and they included an employment contract for me to sign. However, I will need to apply and pay for the necessary work permits with the Nigerian Immigration Service. They even provided a name and phone number of a person in their HR department who can streamline the process.

I can hardly wait to start my new career with them. I know I will quickly climbing the corporate ladder at this company. Because I will be the only person who knows how to use a SPELL CHECKER!